Blog

Tea

What does tea have to do with writing?

Everything.

Nothing.

I like tea.

You don’t have to like it for us to be friends.

When you write: you could drink wine. That’s a popular writer’s companion.

Heavy liquor, for those you with inner demons that cannot be quelled by mere tannins and hot water.

Hot tip: don’t try to quell an inner demon. Buy them cute outfits and take them on walks around the neighbourhood. They’re so much less rowdy if you exorcise them.

Or coffee.

People drink coffee.

I’ve read about them.

Mostly in comics.

Journalists drink coffee, right? Because of the gigantic pressure and the deadlines—plus the whole: I mostly use newspapers to dry my shoes during winter.

They can’t possibly drink it for the taste, because coffee is gross.

Did I just alienated 85% of the World’s population and lose the entire US audience?

Gosh dangit!

Sorry coffee-drinkers, you’re liquid-sleep-substitute-tar is wonderful. Also, maybe try getting real sleep occasionally. It’s good for you.

Point is: [shut up—I do have one] when you write, you need to have a beverage. It’s part of writing.

Why?

Comfort.

It’s really good to have something to hang on to when you’ve killed a favourite character or realised that the story thread you’ve been following for ten thousand words is all wrong and you have to go back and rewrite it from the POV of the Hungarian Sulphur Crested Lion-tamer.

At these moments you can pick up your mug, wrap your arms around it and cry hysterically. The tea is your friend. The tea won’t make it all better, but the tea will be there for you.

The tea will also ensure that you take regular breaks by demanding you get up to empty your bladder.

Frequently.

Because tea is good.